the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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