school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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