People in love make me want to vomit
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
