I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
