i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
