His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
