1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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