I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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