This is not my ceiling
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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