Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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