I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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