people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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