My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
