why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
