dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
