I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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