who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
