Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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