We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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