Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
