oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
