I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
