Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
time to smoke my breakfast
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize