My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
