Don't you send me to vm
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
