i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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