his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
