All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
