Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
