Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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