I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
