You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
