ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
