you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
