dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
