i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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