Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
