True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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