Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just cut my nipple shaving
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
