i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can I color on your dick again?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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