Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
home. puking in laundry basket.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
