Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How's work?
Spinning.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
