eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
