im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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