thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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