you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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