Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
