dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
