wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
