38 yer olds are good kisserssss
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Michael Bay diarrhea
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize