It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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