Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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