JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
