You made me cry and you don't even care
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
