things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
