i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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