Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
