I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think people are normalizing furries
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
