I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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