The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
