Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
