hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize